We've got ancient rivalries....the dogs are going to get the cats one day and there won't be a peacekeeper here to stop it. I could build a wall but the cats would just jump on top and strut around until the dogs bark themselves into a coma. And yesterday, I think the one of the adversaries made a first strike against the fish. The lid was off his tank and the water level appeared lower. Consuming another creature's habitat seems vaguely depraved.
We've got black holes that open to another universe....Those socks have to be winding up somewhere. Mysterious notebooks appear that no one remembers buying. Shreds of things litter the living room floor that I can't for the life of me virtually reconstruct into anything I recognize. And where has the cat been hiding. Probably the Delta Quadrant.
We've got the secret of the universe....Forget 42, that's yesterday's secret...from yet another galaxy far far away. Today's secret is the total amount of effort it's going to take to combine (once again) Sarah's household with mine. Oddly enough, this effort seems to require a significant reduction in gross weight of goods belonging to me and Stewart.
We've got the world's first diagnosed (self-diagnosed, that is) allergy to public schools. This allergy so afflicted Tess the other day she had to come home. As proof, Tess offered her near miraculous recovery when she got home. I thought perhaps it was all due to eye strain from too much Club Penguin.
We've got a dog nest. Every night when Stewart and I go to bed, Ricky and Lucy grudgingly allow us mattress space. That's about the time we kick them off the bed and tell them to rethink their place on the food chain. That's about the time the cat waltzes past and the race is on!
We've got challenged plumbing and overworked wiring, windows that leak heat and blur light, a flag pole that doubles as an antenna, a back patio masquerading as a kennel, carpet in the garage and a bust of Big George in the basement. One freezer is full of dog bones and another is full of winter squash (don't ask). The fridge freezer is mostly empty, just a few loose bags of potstickers and some frozen ice things beloved by Stewart and Tess.
I came home two days ago to random containers filled with what appeared to be dog food scattered around the kitchen. There was a pot of it on the stove, a cup of it in the sink and a bowl (a big yellow bowl) of the stuff on the counter. It's all gone now. I don't think anyone cleaned the kitchen.....it's just gone.
So if you wanna buy a chicken, your best bet is the grocery store, but if you want anything else, come on over to West Auburn Road.
Posts
